PAINFUL INTERCOURSE FOR WOMEN IS NOT AS RARE AS YOU MAY THINK.
Are you one of those women who experience painful intercourse or pain from any type of vaginal penetration? If you are, you are hardly alone.
A recent survey indicates that more than 20% of women in the United States experience painful intercourse and that number rises significantly in post-menopausal women.
As someone who experienced and endured painful sex for more than 20 years, this is an issue that is near and dear to my heart. It is also a core subject of my book, Living an Orgasmic Life: Heal Yourself and Awaken Your Pleasure and my women’s facebook group, Girl Friend Sex Talk
TYPICAL SYMPTOMS FROM PAINFUL INTERCOURSE INCLUDE:
- Sharpness and burning during penetration particularly around the introitus (opening to the vagina).
- Tightening of the vaginal muscles (this can happen well before penetration), sometimes the muscles get so tight that penetration is impossible.
- Extreme vaginal dryness, I have heard it described as feeling like you have sandpaper in your vagina.
The medical establishment calls pain during penetration Vaginismus, which is an involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vaginal opening. This causes the insertion of any object such as a finger or penis to be very painful.
Women who are post-menopausal can have dryness and with the change in hormones, the vaginal lining can become thin which can be the cause of discomfort.
There are also medical reasons that cause painful intercourse besides hormonal imbalances. The most common reason is an untreated vaginal infection which should be ruled out before treatment begins.
In over 90% of women, painful intercourse is caused by a combination of psychological factors resulting in a learned response that penetration equals pain.
Here’s the good news. You don’t need to suffer anymore nor do you have to stop having sex altogether!
There are treatment regimens available that can and will help you learn how to relax and enjoy sex. But first, you have to understand what is causing painful intercourse for you.
HERE ARE THE MOST COMMON CAUSES OF PAINFUL INTERCOURSE:
- Early negative sexual experiences this can range from shame as a result of being caught masturbating to being the victim of sexual abuse or predatory acts without any actual touching. Growing up in any type of abusive household (alcohol, physical abuse) frequently leads to sexual issues, including painful sex.
- Fear of painful intercourse a very common self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Fear of getting pregnant or getting STDs.
- Physical trauma such as childbirth, gynecological surgery, repeated urinary tract or vaginal infections.
- The inability to relax when getting aroused can cause considerable discomfort.
- Performance anxiety typically around the inability to orgasm.
- Lack of connection and trust with your partner.
- Body shaming issues such as not liking the way your body looks or feels.
MY TREATMENT USUALLY INVOLVES A COMBINATION OF:
- Somatic Therapy to work through any traumas that are stored in the body’s memory.
- Easing Anxiety by using breath, sound, and movement to relax the body and get you out of your head.
- Education around female anatomy and changes during arousal.
- Understanding your desires and how to ask for what you want
If you are in a partnership, I always encourage your partner to participate in some of the sessions as their support during the healing process and in carrying out the homework is critical. Typically clients begin to see some improvement after six or seven sessions, although everyone is on their own time table.
Please reach out to me if this article resonates with you and by all means share it will all your female friends. Intercourse for women doesn’t have to be painful.
Sex Coaching can help you regain the enjoyment you get out of sex. Here’s to having joyous, exhilarating, pain-free sex!