I am on a mission to normalize the conversation about sex because even though we experience sex vicariously through the media, we can’t talk about sex. We live in this weird paradigm of contradictory messages.
Sex is coming at us constantly from every angle..radio, TV, film, books, newspapers. Even Zumba is selling us sex, If you doubt me, go check out a class, listen to the sexy music that we dance to, watch how we gyrate our hips, pump our pelvis, and shimmy our breasts.
And yet while we are constantly being barraged by sex and sexual images, we have been socialized against having serious conversations about sex. It is still the taboo subject. We lower our voices when we talk about sex, we giggle like 10 year olds, we refrain from discussing it at a dinner party.
Talking about sex to our kids is also challenging.
Unlike earlier generations, many of us have had the safe sex conversation with our kids. But how many parents have really taught their children about sexual preferences, positions, ways to give and receive pleasure, orgasmic potential, female ejaculation, BDSM?
Health care professionals hate talking about sex.
I’ve been shocked at how many conscious, alternative health care practitioners (chiropractors, acupuncturists, nutritionists, energy workers, massage therapists) never bring up sexual issues with their clients and feel completely unequipped to talk about sex.
Urologists are some of the worst offenders. They prescribe Viagra at the drop of a hat to men who clearly don’t have erectile dysfunction since they can get an erection when masturbating. So much easier to send them home with a drug then to initiate a conversation about sexual difficulties they may be having with their partner.
Even therapists have trouble talking about sex
Therapists are great talking about intimacy and relationships but very few are actually comfortable having conversations about specific sexual issues such as inability to orgasm and premature ejaculation. Most do not teach men and women how to please each other sexually. And even fewer can help their clients access and increase their sexual energy with very specific exercises and hands on bodywork.
It is no surprise then that talking about sex in intimate relationships is also very challenging, particularly since we have had so little practice and have been socialized away from having those conversations. But being able to communicate about sex is fundamental to having the relationship that you desire and getting your needs met. Check out this great article from Celeste and Danielle about the importance of talking about sex with your partner or lover.
So how do we start the conversation about sex? Stay Tuned for Five Easy Ways to Talk About Sex.