The Elusive Female Orgasm

The Elusive Female Orgasm

Great article in Cosmo Magazine about Orgasm Deficit in Women.   I was interviewed and quoted extensively and I love the way the author, Heather Wood Rudulph, connected so many pieces of the puzzle together about female orgasm.   The article speaks to women of all ages.  Here are some of the main points, but you should definitely read the whole article and pass it along!

  • 20-30% of women have never had an orgasm.  Close to 70% do not experience orgasms during intercourse.
  • Not a single published research study on women who never experience an orgasm
  • Number one cause of women not having orgasms… they are in their head during sex and the entire sexual encounter becomes around them achieving orgasm, creating intense pressure which prevents a woman from being able to relax into female orgasm.
  • Women are set up to fail by unrealistic expectations depicted in the media.”When you look at HBO’s Girls, look what’s being modeled there. Walk in, take your pants off, screw and you’re done,” Pailet says. “There’s no pleasure there. There’s no opportunity to explore anyone’s body, and there’s certainly no intimacy.”
  • There is a connection between casual sex and lack of female orgasm.  “Think about it: A woman meets a stranger and decides to hook up. Of course she’s going to be concerned about her appearance — and her performance.”
  • Female orgasm is about surrendering to sensation, to pleasure, allowing your body to do what it wants to do. You can’t do that in a state of anxiety and tension.
  • The millennial generation is so often plugged into technology that they can’t unwire themselves even during sex.  In a recent study, 5% of respondents checked Facebook during sex and 10% sent a text message. Hard to have or enjoy an orgasm that way!
  • Despite the number of women who may not be having orgasms, talking about it remains somewhat taboo, even among close friends.  Women who can’t have female orgasms describe themselves as being “broken” and experience a lot of shame.
  • There is help and hope for women who have difficulty achieving female orgasm through somatic sex educators and sex coaches such as me.  If you want to improve your orgasms, please contact me for a free discover your pleasure session.



2 responses to “The Elusive Female Orgasm”

  1. Great advice Xanet, I used to be in a logical frame of mind when I was having sex, and quite outcome dependent, recently my lover has helped me focus on inhabiting my body and this has helped quite a lot with orgasms.

  2. Great source of knowledge! In these times it’s best to share this kind of information. We, females, should finally also start to enjoy sex.

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