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Does Penis Size Matter?

Does Penis Size Matter?

The question of penis size routinely comes up in conversations that I have with women and men both individually and in workshops and group settings. 

Many men judge the size of their penis based on what they see in porn.

By the way, many of those penises are digitally enhanced or are in the 90th percentile of penis size.


Despite what we read and see in books and movies, most women do not spend time chatting up their girlfriends about the size of their partner’s penis.

Frankly, we have more important things to talk about regarding our sex life.

There have however been a few exceptions.

Several years ago, I was running an intimacy workshop in which we had concentric women and men’s circles. 

The men’s and women’s circles took turns sharing and listening to each other’s conversations about what we need in relationships. 

It was a very powerful experience.

To my surprise, the topic of penis size came up in one of these circles. 

One woman, who was well known in the group, said that a big penis was an absolute requirement for a long-term partner.

I heard the air go out of the room in the men’s circle that was surrounding us and instructed all the men to take a breath.

Several men immediately jumped in and tried to determine whether there was any “wiggle” room in what this woman was looking for in a partner.

Other men and women even asked if she would be satisfied if her partner had all of the other qualities she was looking for (empathy, open heart, strong masculine energy, maturity) but didn’t have a large penis.

In this instance, the woman was resolute in her desire for a large penis and that was her prerogative.

She knew what was important for her to be sexually satisfied.


However, the above situation is not the norm. 

Most women are more concerned about how their partner uses their penis rather than what its size is.

Penis size shame is a huge issue for many men, as is breast size and the size and shape of butts and thighs for women.   

But here’s the thing…

There are men with large penises who are one-trick ponies..wham, bam, thank you, Ma’am. 

Porn sex is what I call it.  You can also call is lazy. 

Often that’s very unsatisfying sex for a woman.

And there are men with smaller penises who are amazing lovers and have learned many different ways to please their partner. 


Many women experience the most intense orgasms from G spot stimulation which is most effective through the use of fingers— penis not necessary.

Contrary to most people’s opinions, the G spot is actually not that hard to find.

In fact, it is only about 2 inches deep and stimulation or foreplay is still paramount.

Check out this article from Men’s Health on A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding the Female’s G Spot.

In this day and age, there are also numerous toys and dildos which you and your partner can use during foreplay and sex for heightened pleasure.

Personally, I’ve got the opposite problem with penis size.

I have a pretty tight pelvic floor (which I’m working on) so a penis that is too large is actually a big problem for me.

Goes to show you that there’s a penis to fit every size and type of vagina out there!

I’m really curious, though to know from my readers and fans…Does penis size matter to you?


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