Creating sacred space for intimacy at home is often the single most powerful takeaway couples leave with—and I’ve heard this again and again from clients, even years later.
This is one of the most important things I teach at my couples intimacy retreats and it isn’t what people expect.
It’s not a new position or a communication hack. It’s a ritual.
Because let’s face it: intimacy can’t thrive in chaos. You can’t truly connect when you’re surrounded by distractions, emotional residue from the day, or the energy of “just one more episode.”
You need a container—a moment that says:
We are here. We’re present. We are choosing each other.
That’s what sacred space is. And you don’t need to go on a retreat to create it (although I’d love to have you!). You can do this – creating sacred space for intimacy at home, tonight…
Let me walk you through how.
Creating Sacred Space for Intimacy at Home… What Does It Mean?
Creating sacred space for intimacy at home isn’t about incense and chanting (unless you love those things). It’s about intention. It’s about clearing away the noise of daily life so you can show up fully—with your heart, body, and attention.
When I guide couples through this practice at my retreats, it’s always amazing to see how quickly they drop into a different kind of presence with each other.
Walls soften.
Eyes widen.
Touch becomes sacred.
This is the ritual I teach, adapted from Margo Anand’s The Art of Sexual Ecstasy and deeply woven into my own practice and book.
Creating Sacred Space
Find a quiet space in your home. Light a candle if you like. Sit across from each other on cushions, a sarong, or a soft blanket. Then, follow these steps together:
- Heart Salutation
– Sit facing each other. Place hands in prayer position.
– Inhale, lifting your hands to your heart.
– Exhale, gently bringing your hands forward to touch your partner’s third eye.
– Inhale back to your own heart.
– Exhale, releasing your hands down to the ground. - Create the Bubble
– Imagine a soft, protective bubble surrounding both of you. This is your sacred space. - Clear the Bubble
– Take turns “removing” anything that doesn’t belong—stress, expectations, mental to-do lists. You can say these out loud or silently. - Fill the Bubble
– Now take turns adding in what you do want to bring into this space: connection, love, presence, laughter, curiosity. - Give Each Other a Compliment
– Something that will really land—make it heartfelt, specific, and sincere. - Honor Three Aspects of Each Other
– These can be qualities (your strength, your softness), energy centers (your open heart, your grounded root), or body parts (your hands, your mouth, your eyes). - Offer a Gift
– This can be a physical object, a word, a gesture, or even an intention. It doesn’t have to be “real”—just meaningful. - Share Desires, Fears & Boundaries
– Take turns expressing what you desire in this space, what you’re afraid of, and any boundaries you need to feel safe and open. - Engage in the Activity
– This might be eye gazing, sensual touch, a guided practice, or simply cuddling and talking. Let it unfold. - Close with the Heart Salutation Again
Just as you opened, close with reverence. Inhale to your heart. Exhale to your partner’s third eye. Inhale back. Exhale down. - Pop the Bubble
– When you’re ready, symbolically “pop” the sacred space—return to the everyday, but with your hearts just a little more open.
Why This Ritual Matters
Couples tell me over and over: this is the thing they bring home from the retreat and continue doing. It becomes the heartbeat of their intimacy practice.
Because it’s not just about sex.
It’s about safety.
It is about showing up.
It’s about being chosen—again and again.
And in a world that’s constantly pulling us away from each other, creating sacred space at home for intimacy is a radical, beautiful act of love.
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