Did you know that the human body was literally designed to experience pleasure? I know this might sound odd given that we give such little attention to our physical pleasure, but it’s really true.
A great example of this is the sheer fact that women possess a clitoris- a pleasure-center that is only found among female mammals. It serves no reproductive purposes, and simply exists to create intense and pleasurable physical sensations.
But what is it that sometimes blocks us from being able to truly experience pleasure?
One of the largest inhibitors of feeling pleasure on a physical and emotional level, is the presence of shame. When you experience the feeling of shame, it can instantly block the pleasure receptors, and stop you from being able to fully experience the positive effects of physical touch.
If a person feels shame about his or her body, it could instantly translate to a loss of pleasure in the bedroom. In today’s world, we are constantly bombarded by images of perfect, airbrushed bodies with teeny waistlines and six pack abs.
We see advertisements of toned people who never seem to age, and we are constantly comparing ourselves to them. It’s no wonder that we feel ashamed of our natural bodies! It’s impossible to measure up! But the fact of the matter is that humans come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and like it or not, we are aging.
On the journey to experience your physical body’s full pleasure capacity, it is important to rid yourself of your body-shaming habits, and begin an intentional quest towards self love.
Try the following exercises from Chapter 3 of my new book, Living an Orgasmic Life to begin to overcome body-shame, and to love your body exactly the way it is:
Judgements that you have about what is “right” and “wrong” about different types of sexual experiences is another place where shame can hold you back from pleasure. Perhaps your sexual blueprint and past experiences have lead you to believe that certain sexual experiences are taboo.
One of my clients fantasizes about a nurse/doctor scene, but she feels too embarrassed to ask her partner to engage in this role play with her, holding her back from experiencing her true erotic desires and her pleasure. I used to think that flogging was only for masochists, but then I experienced it myself and was shocked at how much erotic pleasure I derived from it.
The next time that you notice your own judgment coming up, take note of your resistance and remember that your body is designed for pleasure. You may also wish to take time in the future to journal about your sexual experiences, and your own understanding of what you perceive to be right or wrong in terms of your sexuality. Is there something in your belief system that you feel is holding you back? Note whether it’s your own belief or one that is imposed upon you.
Sex pleasure in woman is a kind of magic spell; it demands complete abandon; if words or movements oppose the magic of caresses, the spell is broken
Simone de Beauvoir
Sex & Intimacy Coach, Best Selling Author and Your Guide To Healing Yourself With Sex, Awakening Your Pleasure and Living An Orgasmic Life