Condom phobia affects lots of men but can become especially worrisome when you are just getting out of a long term relationship.
Have you ever had condoms ruin the moment? For example, when you are in the heat of passionate lovemaking, you grab a condom and the minute you begin to put it on, or even right at the beginning of penetration, the man loses his erection?
These issues with condoms are what I like to call the Condom Conundrums! Practicing safe sex is often a lot easier said than done when we are transitioning from a fluid bonded, longterm relationship.
Condom erectile dysfunction can interrupt the flow of lovemaking and cause lots of anxiety for both partners. Condom phobia in itself increases the likelihood of the man losing his erection.
The lack of sensation for a man when using a condom is physiologically based and called condom collapse syndrome.
The neuronal pathways have been conditioned over a long period of time to only be receptive to skin to skin contact and the feeling of having a barrier between the penis and the vagina literally dulls the senses causing the erection to go away.
In order to reverse this, the penis needs to be reconditioned to feel pleasure with a condom on.
While reconditioning is going to take some time and patience, there are some ways to help speed up the process, and here are my recommendations.
Practice Masturbating with a Condom On
This is by far the most effective way to avoid condom phobia and at the same time recondition the penis.
As a side note, self-love and masturbation practices have many advantages, check out my blog on how self-love practices connect you with not only yourself but also with your partner!
Masturbating with a condom on is a pressure-free environment and there is little to no anxiety about not being able to please your partner. Men also know exactly how to get and keep themselves aroused.
It is important to use a condom as soon as you have a sustainable erection and to keep it on while continuing to masturbate for as long as possible without ejaculating.
I suggest that you start with 5 minutes and add another 5 minutes every few days.
You are not only reconditioning the penis to touch but are also working on reconditioning the ejaculatory response. Here are some of the best condoms for erectile dysfunction along with more tips.
Masturbate with a FleshLight
A FleshLight is a sex toy designed to simulate and feel like you are penetrating a vagina.
While I personally have some issues with the marketing of this toy and the fleshlight porn girls whose vaginas are being used to model the fleshlight, it is a very effective tool to resensitize the penis to having sex with a condom on. It can be purchased at sex shops such as Good Vibrations.
The Advantages of Female Condoms
Female condoms, which are primarily being used for male anal sex, have never really caught on with women in this country.
A big advantage of a female condom is that they can be inserted at any point in lovemaking taking a huge amount of pressure off of the man.
Some women do experience a small degree of decreased sensation in the vaginal walls but this typically dissipates rather quickly and generally doesn’t impact the intense feeling of penetration.
Men tend to like the feel of the female condom as it seems rather natural to them. Though some women complain about the lack of sensation.
The most important tip is to be gentle with yourself and for your partner to be extremely patient and understanding.
Remember that there are so many ways to please your partner that does not involve intercourse.
Take this time to enjoy and explore each other's bodies and before you know it you'll be up and running.
I would love to hear about any other techniques that have worked for you!
Sex & Intimacy Coach, Best Selling Author and Your Guide To Healing Yourself With Sex, Awakening Your Pleasure and Living An Orgasmic Life