Let's face it: 2015 has been a very challenging year with the loss of our beloved Steve Carter and Harbin. I am still trying to deal with these major blows which shifted the ground underneath my feet. And I know that I am not alone.
Rather than doing my usual New Year's Resolutions, this year I decided to write about what I would like to manifest both personally and in our community.
Personal Wishes for 2016
I've realized this past year how hard I am on myself and how I am always trying to measure up to some unattainable ideal. No doubt this stems from some childhood wounds of never being good enough in the eyes of my Mother.
It is the driver behind my Type A personality. While it is has certainly helped me to create a successful coaching practice in a short period of time, it has been at the cost of constantly measuring myself against others and feeling like I've fallen short. It also permeates my personal life as I chose to be in relationships that continually challenge my sense of self worth.
My wish for 2016 is that I fully embrace my awesomeness as a romantic partner, businesswoman and transformational coach.
My wish for 2016 is that I remember that vulnerability is sexy and lean into it.
Many women, myself included, struggle with our identity. Are we mothers, wives, lovers, business owners? Underneath all of those roles, who we are and what we want in our life, often gets lost in the fray. I also have the predisposition to please others, my partner, my children, my colleagues, even though it's not always in my best interest. Putting myself and my interests first is challenging for me. It often makes me feel self indulgent and makes me feel shame.
My wish for 2016 is that I always speak my truth and remember that my primary relationship is with myself.
Community Wishes for 2016
This can't be said frequently enough or loudly enough. We all need to learn loving kindness and compassion for ourselves and others. We are all human. We make mistakes. Some are small mistakes and some are colossal mistakes. But holding onto anger, resentment, and judgment do not make these mistakes go away. Forgiveness and compassion move us back towards connection.
If there's one lesson that really hit home for all of us this year it is that life is unpredictable and impermanent. Loved ones can vanish in the blink of an eye. It behooves us all to make space and time for our beloveds, our friends, and our family. Connection with others is what keeps us healthy, strong, and sane. And we must all learn to really cherish the present moment, because that is all that we can count on.
A new year brings new possibilities into our lives. New jobs, homes, relationships, children. It is so easy to get stuck in the mud and live the comfortable life, which provides both stability and the likelihood of supreme boredom. Personal growth happens when we push our edges, take ourselves to the limit, and lean into the unknown. There is a vast universe in front of us. Make 2016 the year in which you explore the unknown.
WISHING YOU ALL A HAPPY, HEALTHY, PEACEFUL AND JUICY NEW YEAR!
Sex & Intimacy Coach, Best Selling Author and Your Guide To Healing Yourself With Sex, Awakening Your Pleasure and Living An Orgasmic Life