A smart man once told me...if you see a woman with tears streaming down her face sobbing inconsolably, you can pretty much assume that she's breaking up with her boyfriend. As we all know, the ending of a relationship with all of it's consuming heartbreak can be extremely painful and emotional.
I've certainly been through my share of heartbreak and have seen how easily a relationship can devolve from love to anger and even hatred or disgust. But breaking up doesn't have to be that way. It can actually happen with presence, intention, and deep respect and love.
Sadly, I have first hand experience around this. Over the past few weeks, I have been breaking up with my partner. Although we love each other very much, it has become clear that his need for more freedom and my need for more emotional security could not longer co-exist in the context of the relationship we created.
We made the necessary but incredibly painful decision to part ways but we wanted to do it in a manner that honored our love and our relationship. Luckily he is part of Steve Bearman's Interchange Counseling Institute. Steve has created a Relationship Completion Conversation which we used and of course added some of our own flavor to it.
Why can't everyday be Valentines' Day?
February is the month for love and romance and the Hallmark appointed Valentine's Day celebration which grosses close to $20 Billion. But Valentine's Day for both singles and couples can be rife with frustration, regrets, and challenges.
Valentines Day makes many singles even more aware of their single status and the lack of a romantic connection in their lives. While some couples can embrace and enjoy the day and each other, there are just as many for whom this holiday brings up dread.
There is the feeling of the obligatory "we need to have sex", rather than we want to have sex. The rush to grab flowers or chocolate or jewelry and go to a crowded restaurant for dinner. Even our children feel the pressure around Valentines Day and having to chose who or who not to send a Valentine to at school.
What's supposed to make this day special is appreciating and professing love for yourself or for your partner. But why chose one day out of 365 for this activity? Shouldn't we be doing this everyday of our lives?