To truly experience deep, orgasmic pleasure, you need to be fully embodied. But what, exactly, does that mean? I’m going to dive into the meaning and importance of embodiment and then I will share some resources to help you deepen your personal embodiment (which will make your intimate relationships so much more fulfilling!).
“Embodiment” is a term that is tossed around frequently nowadays, without many people actually understanding its meaning. I define embodiment as “an experiential awareness of the feelings and sensations within our body or the reality that we ‘live in our skin.’”
Embodiment- feeling and experiencing the present moment from inside the physical body rather than just “inside one’s head”- is an absolute necessity for fulfilling relationships. You must be able to connect with yourself- who you really are inside, how you feel, what you think- before you can deeply connect with someone else.
If you spend too much time “in your head” during sex, not only do you have much less chance of having an orgasm, but you also will miss out on experiencing so much pleasure during intimacy!
Recently I was introduced to a new concept called “Trauma Shame”. Trauma shame, which is taking its rightful place in the trauma lexicon, happens from persistent sexual shaming messages that are thrust upon children and adolescents, as part of a conservative religious upbringing, such as that of Evangelical Christians, Mormons, and Jehovah Witnesses, who all participate in some version of the “purity movement”. Other socially repressive cultures, such as some Muslim and Indian sects, also partake in this systematic shaming.
Linda Kay Klein, a survivor of the Evangelical movement, talks about the impact of the purity movement on women’s sexuality, in her eye opening and provocative new book, Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shaped a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free. This is mandatory reading if you grew up receiving any of this religious dogma and are struggling with your sexuality.